I do not do shouting

I joined meetup.com a while ago and the Widow/Widowers group I started is ticking over. 11th meeting this week. I had joined a few others too and Friday I decided to actually go to one.
It was for drinks in the city, wide age range so why not?

I wasn’t long after people began arriving that it started to make me feel not right.
At the recent Automattic GM I coped badly with the constant noise and social interaction. Last night was much of the same. The pub was packed and very loud.

Maybe it’s because I’m older, maybe it’s because getting so close to new people just to talk/hear makes me feel uncomfortable, maybe it’s something else. It got too much though so I stepped outside. I msgd the group and said I was there just in case anyone noticed (no-one did) and after some time went to a different pub for a drink (The Globe). I got a taxi home later.

The people I did meet were nice, maybe if I went again I’d like it more but no, I can’t willingly put myself into a social situation where I do not feel comfortable. Having to SHOUT is not good.

J would have been pleased I’d gone out. There is no Debbie Downer about it, but it’s just not for me. I removed myself from the group this morning.

“Can I get”

I heard this several times in Orlando recently and it irritated the fuck out of me there.

On the plane back I was in the aisle seat and this american woman – who redefined “scarfing” by the way she inhaled a huge sandwich – said to one of the crew “Can I get a water”. Given her previous interrogations I would not have been surprised if she had said “Can I get a vegan water”

“Can I get”

In the hotel bar people would say “Can I get a JD and coke” or “Can I get a beer” or other such stuff.

It was never ever a question despite the phrasing. The intonation was all wrong.

It was a demand.

And I heard this damned phrase in the pub earlier.

The answer will always No. NO


Because the demander cannot actually “get” what they want.
The passenger next to me could not get up, move around me and get their water.
The people at bars cannot “get” what they want.

So stop using such demanding demeaning language.


“May I have a water please?”

“Pint of Stella please”

“G&T please”

You are not now demanding, you are asking. That is not just correct because you cannot get it yourself, but it is correct because the staff can refuse you. And it is correct because it’s called being polite.

And if you are reading this and thinking “I could care less about what you say” then please…. get educated.

Next tattoo decided

Was talking to Polly – my youngest – and we’ve decided that she is going to design my next tattoo.
It’s going to be a significant break from my existing tattoos. With the exception of the one on the back of my left hand the others all have human biology as the theme. Polly though wants me to have a butterfly.

She has the outside of my left calf as her canvas (yes, I have already forgotten just how much that area hurts) and it will include some bio elements. But at a glance it will be a butterfly. Mainly purple, with some green and the bio. Up to her.

In other news I had to drop the double nostril piercings back to their original size as they are being stubborn about healing. To make up for that though I actually got my lobes up to 28mm. Good stuff.


Pics soon of just how many bucky balls I can hang from my finger.

Needs bullets, not words

“We will never forgive you” says Thunberg.
She is assuming that they give a shit about anyone other than them.

They do not.

These days I really do believe that the only way to keep a certain level of politician honest is for there to be a healthy market in Assassins For Hire.

I am astonished that Trump is still alive. I pondered that either the US Secret Service are really good and keeping their successes quiet, or that no-one is actually trying. I was told that the bullet owners are on the side of the orange guy.

But climate change?

Cooling down their heads with added ventilation. That might get their attention.

“But, but you are calling for people to die simply because of what they say?”


Because what they say is going to kill far more people.
I’m not saying that your average person in the street should be shot because they say climate change is bollocks. They are obviously very very stupid but their influence, their power is zero.

I’m talking about people who either (1) believe that climate change will sort itself out [0] or (2) are being bribed by Big Business to speak to keep profits.

[0] Climate chaange will sort itself out. The planet dies to the extent we all do too, and then it recovers. How will your money save you then?

If killing one person saves many, how is that not the right course of action?

Save the Planet, right?

Biohack – I have 8kb more memory

Just got back from a few hours with Jenova Rain. Had two new implants one of which does have 8kb memory.

Here is the complete list:

Left hand:
– Magnet in my ring finger. [Details]
– NExT RFID + NFC Chip Implant [Details & specs]

– White LED. This lights up when an NFC detector reads it.

Right hand:
– Vivokey Spark [Details & specs] [More on Vivokey]

– xDF2 DESFire EV2 8kB NFC [Details & specs]

What’s next?
– Start playing with these properly as time hasn’t been on my side recently to do so.
– Go to an Apple store and test the new iPhone’s NFC detection. If it makes my hands work I’ll buy one.
– Get another LED in the middle of the steel implant in my right hand.
– Get a payment chip in my left hand as soon as they are released.

No other photos of today’s implants. There were a couple of guys from the BBC there taking stills/video so I’ll copy those when they are published.

Jenova has done all the above and I absolutely recommend her.

And in case you ask Why do this?

Why not?

And back

They were actually decent people when letting me out. They said my hands were cool as they set off the detector with the steel in them. Very surprised. Landed late and apart from the americal woman sat next to me who ate a huge sandwich in two bites the whole back thing was okay.
Nearly lost the macbook (in a bar), camera (in a cafe), luggage (in a shop) but all were safe when I got back to them.

Very difficult week though for reasons I’m not going into here. It made me realise how broken I am but I also have no real clue how to fix me. There is no single fix and while I can see one thing that would / might be helpful and I have one more I think might help, but each forms only a sliver of a solution.

Walking back into the house where literally nothing had moved felt very very strange. Had things moved it would havde been weirder as no-one should have been here, but yeah, very odd.

Get my xDF2 chip on Sunday.


Well they let me in. Frisked, questioned but no worse than that. My last time leaving the US was the bad though so there’s time yet.

Really good to meet up with people I knew before but also to meet with so many new teammates where we have only communicated in Slack before.

Really missing Jacqui. Last night we all went to Marvel Island – I ate mac’n’cheese for the first time – and so many things I saw that I thought about how she would like to have seen it, would have looked at photos, would have asked me about people, and she isn’t around now for me to do that. I’ll have the photos (on smugmug at some point) but I can’t share this experience with her.