Three consecutive nights of horrendously bizarre and upsetting nightmares. All different in content, in endings, in everything except the fact that loss and confusion are the prime factors.

In the one last night I woke from the nightmare but I didn’t actually wake up. I woke up in the nightmare, tried to move, could not, tried to open my eyes, could not, tried to speak, could not. And then the next instant I’m back in the nightmare albeit slightly moved in location.

The location? It was a city made of food. Biscuits, sweets. Well weird. And it was collapsing. (That’s to be expected I know in the cold light of day but hey, it was there in the dream). And another part was cold icy islands, very small ones. With tiny people, tiny creatures. (Like bears that were tiny, not creatures you’d normally expect to be tiny).
And the city was crumbling and everyone tried to get away and in the crowd I saw Jacqui. I got to her, hugged her and then the crowd was swept away to the right and I couldn’t hold on. And I woke up crying. Only I was not actually awake again.
Then those of us left had to get to .. somewhere .. fast and I couldn’t. That restarted a few times as I tried and tried and failed.

Another night I was in a prison and was told I could leave. But I couldn’t find the person to authorise it, then I did, then the papers were lost from my hand, then they came back, then I got out and I couldn’t go to where I wanted.

I have felt mentally shot and physically ill all day, and it’s these dreams. I don’t want to sleep.

Is this grief? Covid? Something else? No clue.

I could take the medication, but that zonks me for 12 hours and that’s no good for the dogs who expect to go out earlier than 11am.
I could alcohol my way through but no, that’s a bad route.
So I’m stuck. I have no idea what to do. I have no answers.

The US Tech Antitrust bollocks

– know everything you click and sell that data to anyone. Google do everything they can, including changing web standards, to track you.

– know everything you click and sell that data to anyone. Zuckerberg is a fucking lizard and they try to embed their tracking pixels everywhere.

– know what you do on their devices and do NOT sell that data to anyone. Using Apple products is optional.

– know what you buy on their site, know what you look at on their site and do NOT sell that data to anyone. Using Amazon is optional.

Compare the first two to the last two

Pichai and Zuckerberg make their money – LOTS of money – through exploitation and data selling

Bezos and Cook do not

Why can I figure this out this distinction yet American senators cannot?


An opinion from a middle-aged white guy

There are many issues these days that I – as a middle aged white guy – am not allowed to express an opinion.

I have two though upon which I am confident that many people will agree.

1. The world will be a better place when Donald J Trump is no longer POTUS.

2. The world will be a better place when Mark Zuckerberg is no longer alive.

(1) relies in the US voting populace
(2) relies on someone with excellent sniper skills

Clown mark surfing

Is there a GoFundMe? I’d contribute.

Filmrise on Amazon

Find the show I want to watch
Have to install the Filmrise App
Do so, search, find what I want


Moments after starting, because Filmrise assumes I have the attention of a rock, adverts

Natwest bank
then the same Natwest bank ad
it repeats
and again
and yes, AGAIN

FIVE identical ads


Filmrise – is shite like that that drives people like me to better sources. Fuck you


The increasingly weird, violent and draining nightmares continue. The medication I used to stop them does not now do so. I wish I could avoid sleep

I’ve no-one to talk to.
Not just covid but about life, stuff, things, goals

I don’t mean talk, I mean TALK. Someone who knows me, understands

Few hours ago I was folding laundry. Dogs were on the sofa watching me, as they do. I started talking to them

What should I do?
What would Jacqui want me to do?
What/where in a year should I be?
and similar

I got really angry
I haven’t got a single fucking clue

Annita bloody McVeigh

BBC tonight it’s the “Director’s Cut” of the 2012 London Olympics opening ceremony. The director was Danny Boyle.

Dear Mr Boyle,
Your work was, is, and will always be sullied by the inane drivel from Annita bloody McVeigh you left in the soundtrack.

Your Director’s Cut should have NO COMMENTARY. NONE.

The mundane

. Lots of kitchen cupboard sorting out and throwing out
. Fixed the security floodlights at the back of the house
. Painted a wall white before a projector for TV is fitted
. Bikes now back in the garage and anchored with 2 heavy duty locks to the floor and also to each other. Photos taken for insurance purposes if needed
. Heaps of books sorted for a sale at the Library whenever that is allowed to open. Will hopefully be able to sell a huge pile of CDs there too. Not for me, all money goes to the library
. Diablo 3 is going better than it has before. Current Necromancer

. Decided to get electrolysis for my eyebrows. Plucking isn’t persistent. There are some flashy-light things you can buy but would they work…? Might as well go for electrocution. Or is there a better way?

All ears

I checked the WP plugins directory and could not find a plugin that will change any/all youtube links to the more privacy friendly

Does one exist?

In the meantime I will check the syntax and run a search/replace SQL for this site.

It’s been a while so .. Fuck Google.

The sooner more people realise that the better.