I opted to use Email. Note that it says “instead”.
Then I logged in, clicked around seeing what different icons did.
I did nothing suspicious. My computer did nothing suspicious.
This is Jack Dorsey being a total slimeball by initially saying “You can use email” and then denying you access unless you give him your phone number.
I think about 2 or 3 years ago I started feeling unwell. Then really unwell. Then terrible. I hurt, ached, just wanted to curl up and sleep. It came on as “just a shitty day” and given back then the stress in my life was high I did not connect how I was feeling physically with anything else.
Prior to this I was in a bad time mentally and I had been prescribed a drug I had not been on before. I knew about it, had read about it and was happy to be on it.
I had no clue at all what else it might do. Rare, but documented.
Anyway, two visits to the doctor and on the second one he does some tests and “Go Directly to Hospital, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200”. Off I went and yay, the “head med” has given me a lifelong physical illness.
I stopped that med, the illness abated and I just got on with life.
A couple of months ago my head went to places that were dangerous. Unsafe. I was prescribed – with my consent and understanding – another drug. Mentally it has helped me. Very much so. I love that effect.
Then I started feeling not right. Not ill ill, just not right.
The main effect has been what I now know is Burning Mouth Syndrome. I have bottles of various hot sauces in the fridge / cupboards. Mr Singh’s, Matt’s Hot Sauce (no, not that ma.tt), Sriracha and more. I LOVE hot spices. Anything sold is stores as “spicy” is meh. Plain. Boring. Tasteless. But what I have now, and have done for a few weeks? They hurt. Actual physical pain. The only thing that does not hurt is room temp milk. Even drinking cold water hurts. Right now as I type this I’ve not had anything to eat/drink for some 20 mins but my mouth hurts.
Then I started to feel pretty crap. Every system in my body is affected in some way and that’s no exaggeration. And yet I couldn’t see why because I was not looking. I just felt like shitonastick.
Either in my dreams this morning, or in that weird ‘surfacing from dreams to the morning’ time my brain connected the giant dots which I just could not see.
Get in to see the GP. Relate history and current events and hey, guess where I get sent?
So I’m back there tomorrow.
I know the cure – stop the head meds.
Physically I will recover, I will ‘feel’ better.
Mentally .. my head will go back to where it should not be. To where I do not want it to be.
I’ve several fitbit devices – the clip-on, Flex, Charge, Charge 2, Charge 3, Surge and was until very recently looking to buy a Versa 2. I like them, I like the focus and on some days it did motivate me to get to 10k steps. The Charge 3 was easily my favourite – the perfect size, display and functions.
The Versa 2 comes in at over £200, so when I was in the Apple store recently and say the Series 3 watch was £199 I was suddenly interested. I’ve dumped the Samsung S8+ I was using for an iPhone 11, bought an iPad so the Apple watch made sense. It does everything the fitbit did and more and it does it better. It’s a neat device.
Why dump the S8+? Two reasons, in order: (1) the camera placement right next to the fingerprint sensor is a really really stupid design. I’ve been unable to take a ton of pics because the lens would be blurry and (2) Google.
I joined meetup.com a while ago and the Widow/Widowers group I started is ticking over. 11th meeting this week. I had joined a few others too and Friday I decided to actually go to one.
It was for drinks in the city, wide age range so why not?
I wasn’t long after people began arriving that it started to make me feel not right.
At the recent Automattic GM I coped badly with the constant noise and social interaction. Last night was much of the same. The pub was packed and very loud.
Maybe it’s because I’m older, maybe it’s because getting so close to new people just to talk/hear makes me feel uncomfortable, maybe it’s something else. It got too much though so I stepped outside. I msgd the group and said I was there just in case anyone noticed (no-one did) and after some time went to a different pub for a drink (The Globe). I got a taxi home later.
The people I did meet were nice, maybe if I went again I’d like it more but no, I can’t willingly put myself into a social situation where I do not feel comfortable. Having to SHOUT is not good.
J would have been pleased I’d gone out. There is no Debbie Downer about it, but it’s just not for me. I removed myself from the group this morning.