A welcome visit

Haven’t seen my youngest in months so seeing her today was excellent. Caught up on stuff, learned the names that she and her fiancé have chosen for their – not yet conceived – firstborn and generally nattered as you do.

She also brought back a pile of gaming stuff I’d lent her over time but they don’t now use. So I have two PS Classics, two Megadrive Minis, two Gamecubes, I think two N64’s, heaps of controllers and Wii games I’d forgotten about. Good, very good.

Long time since I’ve played Pikmin


I remember this site being reported way back when those reports came to me. I wonder if it looks any different in today’s light? Does humour travel through time well?
(Nothing was done because it had internal company fans)



Game Gear Micro? Nope

I love the current thing to release tiny consoles. I have the Playstation Mini, Megadrive Mini, NES Classic, SNES Classic. The PC Engine mini is on pre-order. I’d pre-order and N64 mini the moment I could. I’ve the Evercade on pre-order. I eagerly await the chance to pre-order a PlayDate and an Analogue Pocket.

But the Game Gear Micro? Not a chance.

The screen is too small, the games too limited. It’s just a flat No.

I get they are after collectors – I still have a mint unopened 1TB PS4 Midnight Blue 500 Million Ed if anyone wants to trade cash for it and no, it’s not cheap – but the fact Sega admit you need a magnifying attachment? They were horrible to use on the gameboy and given the screen is smaller than that…. terrible.



There’s a little game on Steam called Mini Words which I bought and have been playing.
You get the grid of letters and on the left it shows you what you need to create. This image shows the default setting. It helpfully(?) tells you it wants a Verb and a Noun in this case. It also uses Pronouns, Adverbs, Adjectives and more through the puzzles. I say ‘helpfully’ because I still have no clue what a noun is. Or a verb. Or a pronoun. None. No idea at all. I passed by English Language O level back in the day and I’m sure this will have been covered but nope, I know nothing of them. And no, this game won’t help me learn. It’s mildly diverting though and that’s all I wanted it to be.

Firewatch – completed


Finished the game(?) in two sessions. Leaves more questions than answers. Unsatisfying. Yes it’s pretty but it’s also nonsensical in that a tiny rock is an obstacle that cannot be passed yet others much larger can be climbed.
I’m missing 3 cheevs on my GOG version but for me replayability is zero.
Still, it kept my attention to completion and the use of music was excellent.

On Gaming

When I was younger I played video games because I enjoyed them. I loved the Worlds, the high scoring, the challenges, the “one more go” with Bosses

Then I moved to enjoying two player games with Jacqui. Lemmings wasn’t two player but hey she nagged from the back seat. Mario Kart was and we had many many races on the N64 decorating the landscape with bananas. Toejam & Earl was wonderful and funny. Taking turns playing Castle of Illusion. There were quite a few games which we enjoyed playing together.

I remember playing SSX Tricky and Jacqui calling out for the volume to be turned down because of the repeated “It’s tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that’s right on time It’s Tricky…”
but hey, I was that good. How good? Platinum everything, so yeah.

Gaming moved into escapism. It had been something I’d get lost into before – I came home from a Late shift once, 10pm and started playing Shining In The Darkness on the Megadrive. When I remembered to look at the time it was 4am, so I kept playing til 6, had a shower and went to work at 6:15am for the Early shift.
FF VII was a whole new world and my girls will associate that fight music with where we lived and that time.

Caring is hard. It’s more than 24/7. Gaming became a way to switch off my head. Go elsewhere while sitting in the same place.

I remember completing the last action in Fallout 3 and feeling genuinely sad that I had completed the game – so I loaded the last save and stayed well away from that location.
Skyrim captured me completely. I would say “SSHHH!!” to anyone disturbing me as my Stealth Archer crept through dark passageways.
Many other games captured my attention by the hour.

Jacqui died.

For quite some time it felt wrong to be happy, to escape.
My gaming hours dropped to zero.
I can remember two games I played in 2019. Breakneck (because it was an easy daily no-brainer) and Trine (because Wes and I recently completed it in one go).

I have 7500+ games on Steam. I have a heap on GOG, Itch, Epic, Origin, Uplay, Humble and more, but I’m not playing them.


I think part of it is that I don’t want to escape from my life into a fantasy game experience. What I want is to escape from my life into a real life experience.

The combination of working from home for 16+ years along with the caring role I had closed off every social connection I had. (That’s actual social, not those stupid buttons).

A few years ago if you had asked me if gaming was part of the solution or part of the problem, I would have replied solution.
Now .. it is not.

I am at the point where I am considering selling all my game accounts. Yeah it’s against the rules but rules are there to be broken.

I just don’t want to play any more.