Note: When he wants to be taken seriously he does not ruffle his hair. This means that as he normally ruffles his hair he does not take his role seriously.

Note 2: The NHS tracing Big Brother app? No.

Note 3: The Apple / Google app? That’ll be a FUCK NO. I mean, GOOGLE? If you install that you are stupid. Very very stupid. Trump voter stupid.

Stay Alert? Drink more coffee?

Fuck Off Boris

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