Yesterday was all normal. I wasn’t firing on all cylinders at work but I got to where I needed to be – we all have days like that – and I logged out okay. Did whatever and later I’m sitting on the floor when Koda comes up to me. She’s an independent girl and takes fuss when she wants so as she wanted fuss she got it.
If you have a dog you’ll recognise that moment when they roll on their back and look at you all goofy. Koda did that and looked directly at me.
I pointed a finger at my chest
I held both my hands over the centre of my chest
I pointed both index fingers at her
As I did this I said
and I just started crying.
It’s more than 24 hours since and I’m still crying.
The last time I did that gesture I was looking into Jacqui’s eyes. All she could move was her right index finger but she gestured those same, that same feeling back to me.
It feels like I lost her yesterday.