Eating alone

Widows on the Pain of Dining Alone

I’ve not made a proper cooked meal since Jacqui died.
The oven has been used maybe 4 times for a frozen pizza
The rest of the double range machine has not been used
The air fryer once for home made falafel
The slow cooker, maybe once a week I’ll chop some onions, mushrooms, throw in a tin of beans and make it warm.

The dining table is dismantled.

Tesco keeps a list for you of what you have bought online over the last year so in 5 or so weeks all the food I used to buy for Jacqui will drop away.

I loved cooking, cooking for the family. When the kids were at home we always ate at 6pm watching The Simpsons, or Hollyoaks. I loved cooking food that Jacqui wanted. Now though there’s no point. I don’t do takeaways, I don’t order food at the pub. I live on hummus, coleslaw and tortilla wraps. Maybe rice cakes. Easy, no fuss, little prep or washing up.

In many ways it is easier for me as life transitioned slowly from 4 to 3 to 2 and I knew she would go. It must be so much harder when it comes out of the blue. The effect is the same though – what was a pleasure, what was a good time of day turns into an empty experience every single day.

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