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I thought my phone was set to be silent from 10pm – 6am unless I had starred the contact. There are exactly 3 such stars – my girls and my dad. That’s it.

1am, fast asleep, the phone rings. Jarred from sleep, answer and get some slithering, scabby knuckled, low foreheaded, drooling fuckwit who wants to know about my “accident”.

I don’t think I’ve said “Fuck Off” with such venom in a long long time.

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