The Preening Bench

At the gym most of the lockers are arranged in U shaped groups with a smallish bench to drop the bag / towel onto, ties laces etc. There is however a line of lockers which face everyone. Their bench is in the middle of all. It is used by:

  1. Huge blokes who you really would not argue with
  2. Blokes hung like a donkey’s donkey
  3. A group of lads out to impress each other
  4. ……and the preeners

The first 3 I can understand and have no issue with. But the preeners really annoy me. One today.. I’d seen him in the gym doing weights. More keeping toned than looking for bulk and apart from wearing a belt on his lower back when using a 10kg bar there was nothing odd. He had come out of the shower as I went in. I had a long – very long – hot shower. I came out and he was just putting his underwear on. After he had adjusted, moved, adjusted again, smoothed the creases out, checked and smoothed his skin, he went for the trousers etc. After each item the skin was touched, almost caressed as he looked – not glanced, not ‘look the other way while squinting hard to the side so no-one can see me looking‘ – admiringly at his bod in the mirror. Watching him – I was so amused by this I was going slow to see the spectacle … he probably thought I was admiring him – when putting his shirt on was painful. This guy wasn’t going out to the catwalk – the catwalk was coming in to him! I have seen some guys in there who pose, some who take too long with the gel at the mirror, a couple who like to dry their nuts with the hairdryer but this guy took preening to another level. Given my unkempt state I left the room before him. I was sitting in the front area as he left some 10-15 minutes later. There are some very freaky people around ….

3 thoughts on “The Preening Bench

  1. The only gym I ever really liked was the college one I could use out of hours because my (then) husband was the caretaker. I had the place to myself, and also the showers and changing room afterwards. Some people are so vain it’s unbelievable. Funny to read about though! I like the change of colours on your blog.

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