In the trough

No – not food related. I’m still feeling fairly crap but now I think it’s a combination of a medication side-effect and a cyclical trough. Thankfully the meds are keeping the clouds away but my concentration has gone – I have a fair pile of stuff I said I would do just before this happened and unfortunately it stays undone until the morning I wake with the world back as it should be. It’s the way it is.
I don’t feel ill ill, and it’s not a case of waiting to “get better” – it really does come and go like this. It’s as if the medication can stop my mind from racing toward that Self Destruct button but it cannot stop my body expressing physically what my mind would otherwise be feeling …. there’s a word for this which escapes me …. it’s like Eastern cultures where they have no word for ‘depression’ but certain physical ailments are indicative of precisely that. My typing is worse than normal too – you can’t tell obviously but the time it’s taking to write this and do corrections is quite long compare to how quickly and accurately I can rattle stuff out when I’m on the other side of line that divides my life so wierdly. What’s it like being mentally stable ? So yeah, I’m not down / depressed just odder than normal.

While I’m on (ill)health, anyone get asthma ? Do you like or hate/loathe/detest/despise those breath-actuated inhalers ? I cannot stand them – foul creations. I’m sure they do not deliver the 200 doses and I’m sure that each dose isn’t as good as the proper inhalers. I don’t get a choice in them though I’ll be pushing for the older ones when I next have to get some.

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