Caveman Sleep

My sleep position has changed, and it’s bugging me.

J and me have been together for 21 years now, and my sleep position was always ‘Cave Man’ – no matter where we were, I always took the position in bed that was closest to the door, and I always went to sleep actually facing the door. Probably some ancient “Me sleep, watch cave entrance, me fight big lizards, keep woman safe” type thing.
It’s the same in pubs or restaurants – I have to sit so I can see a door, so I can see general movement of people that could approach me. Show me a seat with my back to the door and I won’t sit in it.

It’s not a bed orientation thing, it’s nothing to do with windows, but now I cannot sleep in the position I want – I can only get to sleep on my side facing away from the door, and that feels very odd indeed. In fact, it’s hard to get to sleep. You know when you get into bed and after a few minutes you have to change position ? There’s something about that position that means you just can’t quite relax enough, can’t quite ‘drop off’ ? That’s what it feels like, so I change position and face away from the door – but then that position actually feels wrong in itself because I can’t check for any curious carnivores. Not that we have any you understand (the cats do get fed) but it’s that primaeval relic.
Every night I try, and every night I end up lying there for ages trying to sleep – the compromise position of flat on my back doesn’t work at all and I’ve never managed the feat of going to sleep lying on my front (not when sober anyway).

Trivial ? Maybe, but it’s a nightly ritual that’s annoying, and worse still, since I’m conscious of the change I can’t get rid of the annoyance. I wonder what changed……

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