Negative Stars

A much colder look …. this sheet won’t last too long. Not that I don’t like it, but that it’s very badly implemented and doesn’t degrade to 800*600 very well (open your Bookmarks toolbar to see what I mean). I really do need to cull the CSS too – I’m sure there is junk in there just through my laziness.

First day at big school for D. ! She’s got today and the next 2 on induction to the College where she’ll be for the next few years. In some ways she’s got it good – this is only her 4th school (playschool – primary – school – college) – and she has rock-solid roots here in the village, but it’s still a move to the largest ‘pond’ so to speak, and as such not only is the jump from being one of the biggest fish to one of the smallest something to take in, but also this college has a huge catchment area and she’ll be exposed to a greater variety of people. That’s not a bad thing, indeed it’s a necessary part of life, but it can still be an uncomfortable learning process at times.
I’ve never wrapped Dayn in cotton wool, or tried to protect her from what the world is (equally I’ve not cast her to the wolves to fend for herself!), but it still marks a significant step along the road to her independence, womanhood, her becoming an adult.
It’s hard to describe how I feel at times like this. Of course she’s growing up, turning from a child, then to a teenager and now on her way to being an adult, and in so many ways nothing changes in our relationship, but in other ways so much does too. I know it has to happen, it was always going to be this way, I know she will always be ‘my little girl’ and it’s lovely to see how well she is thought of by others, how respected she is by her peers and their families, by teachers, but then equally she is starting to explore those domains where I don’t have any control, where I can’t hold her hand, where I can’t be there to look after her, where she will have to make decisions by herself, where she will have to discover for herself what she believes in and where she stands on so many things. And this isn’t bad, and it isn’t anything that can be avoided and I have to hope that everything that we have done helps her in everything she comes across – and I’m sure it will – but even so, something somewhere changes. Like I said, it’s not a bad thing, I guess it’s just different……..

2 thoughts on “Negative Stars

  1. I liked the dark starry one…..

    One day in the future, I will be where you are, watching my children go off to college. I only hope I will have done as good a job with my two as you seem to be doing. D., though I’ve never met her, sounds like a credit to you both.

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