Sorry I can’t

Like most people, I do favours for people. I’m not talking about stuff online, I mean for people who I know nearby. They aren’t big favours, they don’t involve sums of money, but they do involve time – my time. I don’t keep a mental score of what I’ve done – I doubt you do – but if someone asked you who you had done favours for, then like me you’d be able to think of the list. Like I said, these aren’t huge life-changing favours, but what they are are acts that you have done, either spontaneously or on request, that have helped someone else out. And that someone else invariably says “If I can do anything for you, just let me know”.

So I asked someone today, because he is in a position to do me a favour and I have done lots of favours for him. If it were to be added up, then he would “owe me”. He has in fact said that he would do anything he could to help me out, all I had to do was “let him know”.
So I let him know.
And he said No.

Now it’s not a huge favour I need, it’ll cost him nothing, it would take about 5 minutes at most, but he said No.

I can’t decide whether I’m upset / angry / disappointed / hurt / pissed off …. probably a mixture of all of them. And the kicker is that I shouldn’t have to explain it all – if he has wanted help then I’ve just pitched in without wanting an explanation – but also that in a couple of weeks, or less, he may ask for another favour. So what do I do ?
Pout like a kid and refuse because he wouldn’t help me ?
Say yes and help even though it’s obvious that he wants help on his terms but will only return his help on even stricter terms ?
Pretend I’ve something else to do just to be awkward ?

And when I see him again, today or tomorrow, he’ll apologise again blah blah blah and he’ll think it’s all okay, all ‘water under the bridge’, that all is cool again. But it won’t be.
I don’t ask for favours unless I am really stuck and I have no other option. I really would prefer to figure out my own solution, and in this case, he really could have helped me out. And he didn’t.

Aren’t other people such complete bastards at times ?

2 thoughts on “Sorry I can’t

  1. Pretend to be busy. He’ll soon get the message, but might get it even faster if
    you do the pouting thing. Yes, it’s a bit childish and selfish but so what? What
    was he if not selfish, for refusing five minutes of his time when you have obviously
    given him considerably more of your own?

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