Tag Archives: criterion games

The Burnout f****** store

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Burnout Paradise. Great game but:
- it is taking longer and longer to load. Even if you pull the network connection it takes a long time to load
- my internet connection is crap today but even so it tried to pull in the ‘news’ so the loading took even longer. I want a ‘skip this bit’ button.
- and then we have the new damn store.

“Hey, I know how we can sell more stuff! Let’s stick a store right in the middle of the menus. And just to be sure they won’t miss it we will not auto-detect what they already bought”

Which bloody idiot thought this up? I want to move through menus and not see upsell. I’ve got all the damn packs bar party and I’ll not buy that. Any intelligent system would know this. (But any intelligent system would also not pause while it waits for me to see a “Be careful when you see this ‘save’ logo..” at the start).

Criterion should (1) let us skip that news/twitter/omg-we-are-so-cool bit at the start and (2) remove the damn store. Let us turn it off. It is very very annoying. It’s bad enough with the idiots in the game who either head in the other direction when you start a challenge (kick them? I do.) or they insist on taking you or someone else down who is needed to complete the damn challenge and on top of this you make me swear when I see your store which AGAIN tries to load information from who knows where.

It’s saying something when I think the original no-expansion game is better because there is none of the crap there.

Burnout Paradise

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Played it this morning on the PS3. Load it, it stays for ages on the news screen, eventually loads then just rolls the camera around the car after letting me choose it. It told me to press square but no keypress (except the PS) made any difference. Quit game. Click to play. This time it stays for 5 minutes on the News screen and won’t budge from there. Reset PS3. Try again and again it sticks on the News screen. I think it’s trying to load stuff from their website. WTF can’t they just let me play the damn game? Timeout that damn screen at 10 seconds. Give me SOME way to quit whatever it is and let me play.

Online stuff might be good but designers must never ever ever stop or delay a game being played that can be played offline. What do I need to do? Disconnect the cable in the back? The game should give me an option to turn if OFF unless I want it back on. I don’t give a flying one how much it may “enrich the gaming experience” or other such junk – I just want to play. I play Ridge Racer online at times and the only other game I will play online is Wipeout HD. I am never going to play Burnout Paradise online, really I’m not.

And if it’s not loading from the website then the HD load is screwed – so at what point does it tell me? Or I do I have to divine that magically?

Burnout Frustration more like.