Burnout Paradise idiots

I’m sure this is the case for every online game.

To get a gold paint finish on a car you have to have completed a pile of trophies. That’s getting between A and B really fast, doing stunts, finding billboards etc. And Paradise City is not small.
In short, to get to gold you have to have shown you have a clue and some ability to point a car in the right direction. So wtf are people in gold cars doing getting lost? They always pick the gold F1 car, they cannot do tricks, they do not help with timed challenges and are a monumental PITA. Gold F1 car? My game? Kicked.
If someone with a couple of hundred challenges completed decides to take me down I’m not hugely bothered. I’ll take them down at some point (unless they do it twice in which case I’m happy to race round the map til I get them), but new kids doing it? No.way. A few recently have cost everyone challenges and I am happily one of those that will hunt and take them down time after time until they get the message they are not wanted. Bullying? Probably. Do I care? Not a bit. It’s a competitive world out there.
But what is odd about the gold cars is that while idiots drive them I have yet to see a clueless driver behind the wheel of a platinum car. There is not a huge difference between the 2 in trophies so either there is a cheat (Criterion state there are none, but there is a challenge glitch) or people are getting the gold and giving it to their clueless brother. Or maybe the Platinum doesn’t have the bling factor. The glitch – someone appears to be still, is ‘in’ the challenge but completes nothing, moves nowhere. After an indeterminate period the challenge completes when it should not have done. Seen this happen many times.
BP is still an amazing game though even after 200+ hours playing.

I should start playing Team Fortress online and see how many times the n00b me gets taken out by a headshot :)

Some Burnout Paradise stats

Driver details
Your License status: Burnout Elite
Your time in Paradise: 143 hours, 21 mins, 24s
Percentage complete: 101.00 %
Distance driven in Paradise City: 3,512.59 Miles
Cars in your Junkyard: 76
Cars left to shutdown: 0
Roads you’ve Ruled: 64
Road Rules Time: 64
Road Rules Showtime: 64

Rider details
Time in the saddle: 74 hours, 51 mins, 55s
Bike completion: 101.00 %
Total distance ridden: 607.39 Miles
Roads Ruled in the daytime: 64
Night-time Roads Ruled: 64
Total Road Rules Time: 01 hours, 01 mins, 49s
Burning Rides completed: 19
Midnight Rides completed: 19
Furthest Jump: 211 Yards

Hours played Online: 85 hours, 13 mins, 20s

Your best Showtime score: $31,375,000
Your best Stuntrun total: 2,871,400
Total Takedowns: 1392
Longest continuous Drift: 1.44 Miles
Largest Boost chain: ×20
Furthest distance in Oncoming: 7.70 Miles
Your longest Airtime: 6.88 s
Your best Flat Spin: 431°
Highest number of Barrel Rolls: ×3

Now I need to work on the last 99 online challenges and chase a couple of online trophies.

Net bits

Finally earned my Elite Platinum trophy in Burnout Paradise earlier which pleases me greatly. 328/490 challenges done, 89% of offline game and I also have the additional content trophies. And then World Rankings. All for £37 it was. VFM indeed.

Almost completed the domains move to Nearlyfreespeech. Bri’s site goes into a Tiny at ASO. J’s site for now goes into a Small there. I would move it but it involves moving Gallery and the thought of that is scary. May try at a later date when I have a whole day free to fix the thing after a move. Data designed not to move… Going to NFS makes sense because I do not use any of the features in cpanel. Do not use stats, error logs, email and I did not need the reseller either. So the move should save me a few $ a year. (If it does not it will be the tamba2 site that will be to blame. Still gets decent traffic). Need to work out what to do with Root’s site (if you remember Root you go way back to 2004. Fun times!). Probably open a new account at NFS for when he returns from wherever he goes. Never leaves a note, just floats off. Nice guy though, would love to meet him.

And FreshlyPressed will become James’ property in the next week or so. It’s ticking over nicely but I just do not have the time to do work that comes in. So rather than me being there but not it makes sense for it to be James’ and he will email if needed. It also removes any conflict of interest – I know a couple of people have watched before for me to mention FP in one of the WordPress forums even though FP happened in 2005 and I joined Automattic in 2006 – not that I would have done such a thing anyway.

Other than that life is as good as it gets. Which is pretty crap compared to yours but then yours is pretty crap compared to others. It is how it is, not what we would want it to be.

The Burnout f****** store

Burnout Paradise. Great game but:
– it is taking longer and longer to load. Even if you pull the network connection it takes a long time to load
– my internet connection is crap today but even so it tried to pull in the ‘news’ so the loading took even longer. I want a ‘skip this bit’ button.
– and then we have the new damn store.

“Hey, I know how we can sell more stuff! Let’s stick a store right in the middle of the menus. And just to be sure they won’t miss it we will not auto-detect what they already bought”

Which bloody idiot thought this up? I want to move through menus and not see upsell. I’ve got all the damn packs bar party and I’ll not buy that. Any intelligent system would know this. (But any intelligent system would also not pause while it waits for me to see a “Be careful when you see this ‘save’ logo..” at the start).

Criterion should (1) let us skip that news/twitter/omg-we-are-so-cool bit at the start and (2) remove the damn store. Let us turn it off. It is very very annoying. It’s bad enough with the idiots in the game who either head in the other direction when you start a challenge (kick them? I do.) or they insist on taking you or someone else down who is needed to complete the damn challenge and on top of this you make me swear when I see your store which AGAIN tries to load information from who knows where.

It’s saying something when I think the original no-expansion game is better because there is none of the crap there.

Game stress

Last night I had the most pressure I have ever felt in any video game.
Was playing Burnout Paradise and was on bikes. Was getting bored with the game I was in (there is always one idiot who heads off in another direction to ruin a challenge) and accepted an invite to another. It was a cars challenge though and I’ve not been in cars for some time and had completely forgotten my car of choice. I managed a few challenges and in between hit the garage to swap models (hell that thing is slow at time. Way too many keypresses needed). Got a car – I forget which but it was somewhere near the Carbon – and the challenge was at the Airfield. Got there no problem and it was a group challenge – 40 takedowns and 120 secs airtime (I think) – which was done easily and I did my fair share. Then it got tricky.
Barrel Roll through the suspended fuselage. In the right car or with the bike I can fly over the damn thing but the car I had just didn’t accelerate enough. 8 people in the game and slowly but surely the other 7 completed the challenge. But they don’t get that marked as successful unless everyone does it. I am flying around, doing my best to not slide too much in the last corner then boost up the ramp. In lots of challenges – and I do this too – when you are done you spend time smashing into other people, doing jumps, handbrake turns. But for me they were all parked on the left, all pointing at the jump, all making me feel really pressured. After many attempts I got the car speed perfect and completed the barrel roll. I was amazingly relieved and headed slowly to the airfield exit for another challenge. The game leader had other ideas – and chose for everyone to just jump through that same bit of fuselage. If I quit the game the challenge could stop – it’s done constantly by others and is annoying so this was not an option. Again, the other 7 – fast acceleration cars – completed while me and the sludge bucket tried and tried (if you have played BP you will know the corner I mean) to keep the speed up. Come round, slide a little too far, fly just under the fuselage, head right and around, repeat and all the time those 7 cars are parked, waiting. I did it. I breathed in. I swore. I peeled my hands off the controller and before the next challenge appeared I left the game. There really was no way I could have stayed in.
Plan: Find out which damn car I liked the first time. And practise power parking.

490 to do.

Having a really great time online with Burnout Paradise. I’d played a fair amount using the cars but there is probably more time spent taking other cars down and generally smashing other cars to bits. It’s all good stuff but challenges are where it’s at. Few nights ago I started with the bikes online. I have my Elite license so I know roughly where I’m going and bikes are so much better. More time riding and completing challenges than smashing each other up simply because you go down too. I’d forgotten how excellent this game is and for the price it’s a steal (That said, if you buy it now you may wonder. I bought it before the free updates which brought in more cars, the bikes, night-time). And the 490 – that’s the number of challenges.

Some online time

Played some online Burnout Paradise last night. Great fun it was too. The race winner in each case was in an amazingly fast car and doing stunningly quick times. All the fun was way back though as one guy seemed intent on taking down as many other cars as he could. I got much of his attention because it will have said the equivalent of “n00b!!” as the start sequence gave a driver overview. So when the taking part is excellent who cares about the winning?