I’ve never ‘got’ Facebook. The friends thing weirds me out partly because so many people seem to have these friends who they have never and will never meet and partly because I find it all confusing what with posts, pages, comments, likes, fans etc. I deleted (as far as you can there) myself once and I forget why I added myself back but now it’s private, friends only and barely used. I’m using Stainless as a standalone app for it so it stands out in the dock and cookies do not get read elsewhere but I still can’t bring myself to use it often. Maybe I’m just too old.
Twitter I use. 4500 posts since sometime 2007. Each worthy of a post? No. Each useless? No but I bet it’s north of 90%, So why use? Habit. I use it for news and keeping track of certain issues, use it to see what others are doing and it takes me no time at all to type a sentence like “All lawyers are bastards” (which they pretty much are). Is that worthy of a blog post? Hell yes, it may well be at some point. So why don’t I blog like I used to. Here are some reasons:

1. My girls started to read it. Now they don’t care but relate to 2 it seemed to matter then. But also their friends could read it (as one did when I blogged my eldest had dumped her boyfriend, he read it and I found out she hadn’t actually taken that step).
2. My anger went down. I spent a lot of time angry at things, things that still exist but are now lessened by nicer things. So the volcano has subsided.
3. Meeting people who read what I wrote. At one time my old site was pretty popular. All WordPress related and while I had some comments (current stats 3,666 posts, 11,0101 comments) it was strange seeing really high stats and hardly any comments. I think most people would like more comments than seeing the equivalent of people traipsing silently through your house. So although I had met several people before I started that blog they knew me first and then read the words. Their opinion was formed in person. So meeting people who have decided what you are like after they have read your words is different. Better? Worse? No idea. But saying ‘Hi’ to someone who then says “Hey, I read your blog” does make you wonder what impression they really have.
4. Related to the above – censoring self. Many times I have written entries here then deleted them because they could have offended someone I know. If you are a lawyer I don’t care – I’ll call you anyway – but on other topics I end up deleting the post.
5. Time. This is the main one. My time is very fragmented. In the day I will work, shop, clean, play, walk the dog, tidy and other stuff but it’s all bitty, no set times. I work whenever. I don’t start at 9 and finish at 5. What I want to do is at the bottom of the pile to J’s needs, the dog, the house, the girls. That is wrong and needs to change and blogging would then return. Sitting to write takes time. Composing the post or even – as I do – just letting the fingers tap away with no real idea of what will be in the next sentence. Giving a time span forces a thought, drives the words but I have never blogged that way. There are a small number of posts which I really do like and they did not come about from some contrived draft and equally there are posts which now make me cringe a little but they too came out direct. (There are more posts which make me wonder just what I was on when I wrote them too). (Dealing with the complaints at wordpress.com also makes me realise that my blog must have been the subject of several complaints to my host. I know of one from a splogger who failed).

I’m sitting in San Francisco airport. Boarding isn’t for another 30 minutes so I have time. I have the time to write about my blogging and I had no real idea what I would write. I have time to pause as I write and ponder the chances of being pulled over in Customs and having to pay the tax due. I think I’m missing a point above too.

So what I need is time. Here’s an example – I brought over my Sony Reader and while here I have sat each night and read some of two books. The act of reading is good, the peace was good and what I read was good. I need to take that feeling back home and make a point of recreating it, make a point of saying “it’s reading time’, make a point of claiming a certain number of minutes just for me. That can only be a good thing. And that’s the thing with writing. I once asked Matt what he said to people who asked “How do I blog?” and his reply was “Write”. That’s it. It’s not difficult but it’s the putting time aside to do that, it’s the holding of the best thought that might have been twittered and writing about that.

I’m sure I’ve written all this before.

I blame ‘asides’ :)

I should write because I do like to do so. I will see what happens.

I should go through all my old posts and pick out the ‘bests’. They would be inspiring.