Category Archives: Vociferate

delicious.com Stupid stupid stupid.

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Go to sign up at Delicious.

Enter username. A green tick appears
Enter password. A green tick appears.
Enter email. A green tick appears.

Click to next page.

Complete a captcha.

and then it tells you the username is taken. Why the fuck didn’t it say when I entered it? What’s that green fucking tick for?

So I go back and it says for the username “between 3 and 16 characters” so I enter .username.  I get a tick, get the other 2 ticks, click, complete the captcha and then it tells me letters and numbers only.

This surely has to be a lesson in how to not do a sign up. As for signing up – if it’s that stupid now what the hell is it like on the inside? This has to be the worst sign up experience I have ever had.

(clueless)[coders]

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In some software, these are not urls.
*http://peoplewhodothisareidiots.com*
{http://peoplewhodothisareidiots.com}
[http://peoplewhodothisareidiots.com]
(http://peoplewhodothisareidiots.com)
_http://peoplewhodothisareidiots.com_
any frigging thing that touches ANY END AT ALL OF A REAL URL.
If you think you are a coder and you do this then you are not a coder.

You are just plain stupid.

Idiots

2

“Sent from my iPhone”

“Sent from my Blackberry”

No-one gives a crap okay? It’s not a sign of anything but “Hey, I can’t read the instructions”. Change it idiots.

Yet again.

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Theme should have a super-abundance of comments. More comments than code even.

In looking for a new theme I am learning that 99% of theme creators have not a single clue what the word “minimal” means. No clue at all.

The rant continues – you know that technique where they don’t load images until you scroll down? Well here’s the thing – I can see them faster than your code will show them. Stay on your site? No.

There isn’t a single theme that gets Asides right. Not one. So no theme will do until I find someone who I will happily pay to make changes so small that a theme author should be doing it anyway. Of course if theme files had lots of commented code I wouldn’t need to – would I?

Winding

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Get a new roll of string. Unwind several feet of it. Now wind it back so it is absolutely identical to the start state. You can’t. With a gun at your head you probably couldn’t. So which smartass decided that hosepipe and extension cables would fare better? Which smartass didn’t see that both these things twist and take on a life of their own when wound back. That hosepipes kink and cables twist and snake around the handles? That it can take longer than the task they were used for to get the things back. I hate that smartass. I want to wind some cables and hosepipes together, hook them round his neck and ask him to unravel that. And now I’m off to Amazon to buy a proper extension cable or 2.

Google. Bastards.

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So I wake to find that Google had disabled a GMail account. No reason at all. It cannot have been compromised – I use stupidly long passwords – I have not spammed, it is superlow volume, they just did it for kicks. As everyone who has ever tried to contact them knows Google has no Support team. No-one. Nothing. Support budget? $0. So the option to send a Support request is useless. And what do they want otherwise? My mobile phone number. Those “privacy means sod all unless you work for Google” people want another piece of my information just so they can give me access to my email account. So that account will be closed and I’m off to Hotmail or even another domain of mine. I barely use Google now and I’m no worse off and events like this just make my hatred of them burn brighter.

Touch

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Ever worked in a shop or a bar? You know those people that don’t actually give you the money but put it on the counter? Doesn’t matter if it’s a note or someone determined to empty their penny jar it really annoys me. It’s like you are not worthy, that you are an untouchable, that you are there to serve and do their bidding. That’s why they count the money out so they don’t have to touch anything that you have had your filthy dirty disease-riddled necrotic fingers near.

Well it’s the same when someone sends an email which is full of junk but has no actual substance because it says “Read the attached”. IT USUALLY HAS A LOT OF CAPS IN IT. Oh, and it’s sometimes a .doc screenshot. What in hell is going on there then?

Really fucking irritating.

Outsourcing help

1

“So when you turn the television up your xbox starts making a noise?”
Yeah right.
I would never buy another Belkin product of any sort because they outsource their help. You cannot ring and describe the issue because you have to go all through their little flow chart help system before they realise that you have a clue, they do not and Yes Please just escalate the thing.
I would have thought that Microsoft could afford actual help. Having to give my name 3 times, my phone number really slowly, my post code twice and the serial number twice and really slowly does not make me happy. It makes an angry me even more angry. And they never ever speak at a decent volume. It’s always really quiet like they are a long way away…..

If you want to make Customer Service cheaper then you are effectively giving the finger to everyone who buys your products.

And having no email address, a contact form that allows only 500 characters and help in hell knows where really does mean you don’t want to hear from anyone, ever.

I’d get a refund on the console but because I opened the games I can’t get a refund on them because I’d be a nasty software pirate.

Snitching on Mail.

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I installed Little Snitch on the mini for amusement. It requires a restart. On that restart LS shows Mail.app wanting to make several outgoing connections.
I don’t use Mail, I’ve never used Mail, I’ve never run it, I would never run it. I have never given it permission to run, it’s not in my login items. So wtf is it doing running? Is this one of those ‘Apple knows best’ moments? I probably can’t install it – like so many other Apple apps it seems – but I’m certainly out now for a way to cripple it into submission – it will not connect.

Guaranteed a question

4

I need an answer and I think it could be in a geocaching forum. As a guest I am not allowed to search the forum. So I register. And now I find that not only can I not post for 24 hours I still cannot search. Great. So, here’s the thing – if in 24 hours I haven’t found the answer then the absolute last damn thing I’m going to do is search this new forum. I’m just going to ask. If I have searched for a day I really don’t want to continue. I don’t care if whoever reads it knows that the answer is on the front page, or that I need to go elsewhere or that “insert anything at all”. Fact is that this forum has gone out of it’s way to be unhelpful and allowing a search if registered would have helped not hindered. It’s information, it’s free and it should be allowed to be seen. And if it’s the forum software that keels over because of any sort of search (that’s Invision then) then they should get something that works. Groundspeak.