Hotel Orquidea

Bingo abroad
If you have kids then Hotel Orquidea Bahia Feliz is the place to go. It is seriously fantastic. If you have a wheelchair, do not. It is increasingly unfriendly in design and the hassle, stares and outright ignorance just is not worth it. J was using the disabled toilet and the door was tried a couple of times. When she came out she found it was a Thomson rep waiting to use the disabled toilet. The rep was of course fully fit. That sums up much of the experience.

Anyway, airline was good, Customs on Gran Canaria had one evil bitch on duty who we managed to get really really angry – which was sort of fun. After all, if she takes some spirits saying “100ml, no more” and I point to a 500ml bottle of water and a 250ml tin of Red Bull in my bag and ask what about that 100ml she said they are okay, just water, it’s okay. Asked for the spirits back she said no, 100ml! I said what’s that – and held the water. She said water so I put it back in my bag. Asked for spirits, she said no. Saying ‘But how do you know it’s water really’ caused her to get really mad, ripped open my bag, pulled out the drinks and headed to the large box for confiscated material. I did ask for my water back – it’s only water – but she was too busy stomping, gesticulating and informing all her other .. colleagues .. of what we were doing. I did ask where my water was when she got back and enquired why because it was actually only water. She probably could not swear given the presence of her colleagues. Had she listened however I could have taught her some. Stupid woman.

Summary: started ‘Anna Karenina’, am some 500 pages in and it is wonderful, started ‘No Plot No Problem’ which has insights I want to use away from any sort of writing. Love my Sony Reader for the above and I’m in the middle of another book on it the title of which I forget. New Bluetooth kb to use and learn as keys have changed slightly – should be fun. Not so many pictures taken this time and almost all are of youngest and her boyfriend so I’d not publish those anyway. Not sure if I like that pic above. Orquidea do not serve coffee – they serve ‘brown’. Broken Dreams across the road do nice Calypso Coffee. There is no diet Red Bull or variant anywhere. Really.

And as with everyone who returns from holiday I’ll slide slowly back to those little ruts where in that short space away I saw there was something I could do better but I’ll never get round to them, something will always need doing first and in a year I’ll do the same again.

At Hotel Orquidea

Sitting here on Floor 6 of the Hotel Orquidea in Bahia Feliz, Gran Canaria. It’s actually 21:33 as I write this and J and myself are back up in the room. She’s really tired and the main show act tonight are a Soul group. We’ve had 2 of those already this week so we are passing this one up.
So…. a mini-review.
We were last here in 1999 so we knew just what we would be getting.

Distance from Airport: About 30 minutes and we were the last drop-off of 5.
Accessibility: Only 1 of the 3 lifts is just wide enough for the wheelchair so that’s a pain at times. Otherwise it’s not too bad. It’s annoying that so many people find ramps as places to play, stop and chat and generally fail to realise they are there for a reason, not entertainment.
Food: Unimaginative. It’s edible but not so great. Boiled Yucca anyone?
Entertainment: It’s a Thomson Super Family holiday so there is lots going on. Much is aimed at the kids younger than our two but it’s a lively place and the main entertainment guy is extremely good (his name is Leo and it’s his second season here).
Pools: Aimed at family so from shallow to around 1.6m but good for games
Local shops etc: It’s a really small place and doesn’t have a whole lot to offer beyond the second tour around. Couple of arcades, several places to eat (various international flavours), cheap electronics, every known flavour of vodka, 3 bars. But if it’s vibrant nightlife you want this is not the place.
Beach: Dark sand, several feet of rocks to walk over to get to that sand. Not really sunbathing stuff.
Nationalities: The vast majority are english. Some german, a couple of japanese families.

Would we come back? No. It’s good enough to come back to but the girls need something more from a holiday next year (D is old enough to go on her first 18-30 in 2008) and while it’s good for J there isn’t a huge amount for us to do. Neither are bad things right now because it’s a break we really needed.
If you have young kids and want them entertained from 10am to 10pm then this is your holiday. It’s a Super Family for a reason and one I’d recommend.

Once I’m home and I’ve removed the pics with the family in I’ll upload a heap of hotel pictures.

One week in.

Wifi access at last – someone left the network open at last.
Been here a week, been ill for a week. Landed, started to relax and the bugs walked right on it. Joy.
Apart from feeling not good and almost certainly losing weight all is pretty much okay.
Wake – pool – play in water with girls – lie in sun – shower – eat – entertainment – sleep. Repeat daily. Your typical package holiday really.

I need to move around the hotel and find if I have better access anywhere else…