I used to smoke (quit ~2002), I used to drink (quit March 2003) and I’ve lost 40lbs+ since March (still going). It’s not willpower. Someone may say it is but I disagree, at least for me.
With each of the above I started by thinking – not talking, not reading – about the issue. I would weigh things up in some strange background thinking way and wait for the day when I would wake and just know it was the day to try (note ‘try’, not ‘I will’). This can take weeks but there is no rush. What will happen (or not) will happen (or not). The principle was the same for each once that day arrived – wait a minute.
Like most people I hate failure. Makes me feel bad and I usually indulge either in the behaviour I wanted to avoid or by spending money. When I am not in control failure could always happen – not me setting the goals. But with the above I am in total control and I need to not fail, I need to win or at best not lose but not failing is really important. It’s also important to never say never. I never said I would not smoke again, I never said I would not drink again. I just don’t want a drink now. That’s right now as I type this. I might in an hour and if I do have one that’s perfectly fine because I haven’t failed – I never said never. (There are exceptions such as eating at MacDonalds which really is a never ever again, nothing at all).
So with the food there is still cake in the house, milkshakes, biscuits, cheese and other foods I used to eat. There is alcohol too. So I come downstairs to make coffee and in the kitchen there is some cake open. If I want it I can have it – no-one would see but you can’t fool yourself can you?. But I want to lose weight so I don’t want it. But if I do want it, if I do want the taste and texture to eat, do want the pleasant aftertaste, the cloying sweetness then I tell myself to wait 1 minute. If I still want it I can have it. So if I do eat the cake I didn’t fail. In fact if I do I succeeded because I waited a minute. But what I did when I was drinking, smoking and now here is I congratulate myself for waiting and I try another minute. I don’t stand over it – I make the drink, tidy, check the TV if it’s on, read the post, might even talk to the wife but at some point it will be 2 minutes or more. Instead of celebrating I tend to wander off back to work. I won. I won because I am still on the diet and I won because I set some time goals and I hit them. No need to feel bad. It’s all good. It’s been a few months now since I had any cake and for most of the time I just ignore it now because I know I would hit the 2 minutes by which time I have not only won and I know I can win but that crucial moment of diet weakness has passed.
And when the weight does start to drop at a kilo a time – because setting a goal of more is a commitment to more time which increases the chance of fail which would be really bad – I am more motivated to get through those minutes when I can see, hear and desire the coffee cake that is being eaten by everyone else.
Eating a whole lot less food is important of course – I eat a whole stack less.
But in the end my weight loss is down to waiting a minute. 60 seconds to success.