On the desk I have 3 different inhalers,…

On the desk I have 3 different inhalers, a peak flow meter (I’m between normal and 150 down) and I’m on day 5 of steroids. Yet for no reason and with no warning I seem to lose half my lungs. I literally cannot breathe in beyond a certain point. Up to that point is fine. No wheezing, no warning, just shut down.
No asthma nurse, dr appt again on friday.

Ever been mid-yawn and been unable to finish it? You have that odd feeling/sensation and there is that need to get the yawn, to complete it? That’s what I am like constantly. The ability to take a full lungful of air has just about gone but this extra stopping is worrying. Haven’t been this concerned about my asthma for years, many years.

It’s not the heat – it’s been coming on for a few weeks. And I’m not cyanotic at all.

It’s very very strange and very unwelcome. And breathing is a very tiring business indeed.

Duck run shoot die

I have CoD4 on 360 and PS3 now. And by the end of the week should have a decent headset for both. So online time!

I have not played any FPS online before. I assume there are several game types and learning the environments is key to them all (along with weapons that might suit each). But if you do play online what would you see as being good preparation in terms of playing the normal game? I would not expect to be excellent online by a long way but equally I don’t want to be a naive bullet magnet.
In the game so far I have got past the mission to protect the war pig (the mission before you get into the gunship). I’ve done up to there on the 360 and twice on the PS3 (first time was on my daughter’s profile so had to redo). That’s very limited experience I know and my ‘ohshititsagrenadethrowitbackquickBOOM’ isn’t so hot yet so I’d like to have more of a clue.
So where should I be?

The diet continues. As of this morning I…

The diet continues. As of this morning I have lost 15kg / 33lb. Which is nice. I thought when I got to this weight (85kg) I though I’d feel better and I would have the body I wanted. I do feel better but the bod is not yet there. It’ll never be sculpted, honed and bronzed but it isn’t quite right. I thought this when I got to 90kg. So now I’m aiming for 80kg. When I get there I will buy some new clothes. I’m re-discovering ones that did not fit before but I do need some new stuff.

In other news…. Burnout Paradise is now completely completed. Still play though because it’s an amazing game. Motorstorm: Pacific Rift is a pile of steaming skank. Just bought CoD4 on the PS3 and need to remember to try Team Fortress (I have it in the Orange Box).

Like the theme?

I joined the Labour Party today. It's r…

I joined the Labour Party today.
It’s really easy for the smug Tories to have a pop at the govt right now just as it was for New Labour to act that way back in 1997. Of course some are smug, some realistic and some just plain childish but that says more about them than their party. So why join?
It is a case of putting money where my mouth is to be honest. I do not believe in the core values of the Conservatives. Those smug Tories now can be quiet because I lived through Thatcher’s time – I have seen what those values are and I do not like. And when those smug Tories say “Ah but it’s not like that now” they will be the same ones who in 1997 said that New Labour had sold out to get into power. Anyway, I do not like what they stand for. There is only one Conservative MP I admire – Anne Widdecombe.
There are several Labour MP’s I admire – Tony Benn, Dennis Skinner, Frank Field, Gordon Brown, John Prescott. I am perfectly aware these are Old Labour but if their values persist – which I believe they do – then they are values I share, they are values I want to see used, supported and if my joining and paying a few £ a month helps then all is good. Giving time may be involved, not sure about that yet for practical reasons. And it is not that I am joining because I think Prescott threw a great punch at that guy or that Frank Field should have been listened to more. It is because I believe that what Labour stands for is right. You have to take the long view and for me the Left offers me for us than the Right. (and no, the Centre doesn’t work for me. Pick a side..)

Apparently I can make a blog at the Labour site. I’ll pass on that one :)

Wherever you are sitting, really slump f…

Wherever you are sitting, really slump forwards. Get a really horrible scrunched up posture – and then breathe in. That’s how I am. Not slumped, but that’s as much as I can breathe in most of the time. Over the last few weeks I’ve had this effect come and go. I was being good with my inhalers anyway but they weren’t helping. Not a full asthma attack but it feels like the start of one.
Then toward and over the weekend it got worse. Saturday got really close to me wanting / needing to go to casualty and felt very odd when at one point I broke out in a sweat all over. But then it calmed down a bit. So one breath in several dozen is okay, the rest not. Pulse is okay. It’s very odd and may well not be asthma but whatever it is the worry level isn’t going down. And you probably have no idea how tiring breathing actually is.

Winston and a twig

 
Dog + twig
 
Wasn’t sure where to frame given the expanse of darkness either side. It’s also level too – the light is the cause of the imbalance. Far from perfect – too small for a start – but I like it.

Trying another:
Dog + twig

Do not oppress the BNP

BBC. Protesters have gathered outside a pub in Manchester where the BNP leader Nick Griffin is to hold a news conference.

I hope the police hold them back and allow Mr Griffin to go about his lawful business.

Mr Griffin was forced to abandon a similar event outside Parliament on Tuesday after he was pelted with eggs.

Was anyone arrested for throwing those eggs? If not can we all throw eggs at politicians? If not why is Mr Griffin allowed to be assaulted?

Mr Griffin, who has been elected to the European Parliament for the North-West region, called on other political leaders to condemn the attacks on him.

Elected. We have a system, people voted, he won. Everyone should condemn the attacks – they would if it was some other leader who wanted to bomb other people.

But Gordon Brown told MPs that mainstream parties needed to expose the BNP’s “racist and bigoted” policies.

No. That’s the job of the BNP. Let’s here their voice, let’s see them on Question Time, let’s see Paxman and Marr have at them. Politicians lie. they ALL do. So why believe Brown or Clegg or Cameron about Griffin?

At prime minister’s questions, he called on all parties to “unite” to fight the BNP by showing they had solutions to pressing issues such as employment and housing.

Well excuse me and the rest of the population but shouldn’t you have been doing this for the last several decades? You want to point the finger about the rise of the BNP then point it at yourself, not the electorate.

And Conservative leader David Cameron said the battle against the BNP must be fought “doorstep to doorstep”.

Oh, there we have a Conservative talking about a ‘doorstep’. It’s been all lovely and cosy when it’s just been the two main parties. All goes to plan, lose a few here, gain a few there, keep faces fully in the money trough and screw the taxpayers and the common people. But then all of a sudden he cares? Does he hell.

Mr Griffin said the fact that he was being prevented from speaking was a threat to democracy.
ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY. Who next can’t speak? Freedom of Speech does not have the word ‘but’ after it.

If this guy is that bad then let him expose that all on his own. Think about this too – who is going to be keeping their accounts totally perfect? BNP. Whose supporters are probably being told to be very very good so as not to rock any boat? BNP. Who will be watched for changes in how others are dealt with? BNP. Who will continue lying and cheating the taxpayer? All other politicians.

I don’t care for what has been reported about Griffin’s views and I do want to hear it for myself. There is no legal barrier to him having a platform and he should be afforded the same courtesy as any other party leader (don’t forget our Queen and politicians roll out the red carpet for known murderers and state leaders who execute publicly).
I very much care that he is allowed to speak, that the BBC and others allow him time. Or do we all want to be Daily Mail readers and be told what to think?

If you give people the vote then the vote should be respected (unless it’s about the EU in which case your govt will bore you to death with referenda until you give them the answer they want – and that’s all gravy train related too).

“I believe in Freedom of Speech but this guy goes too far” – so you do not believe in Freedom of Speech then. It’s so very simple.

Edit: And even Boris Johnson descends to the playground. If there was someone I thought could hit the BNP intellectually it was him. But no, into child mode he goes.