A piercing discussion

I try really hard never to say No to the girls because I don’t see my role as a controller (Jacq is the same) and sometimes this throws up some interesting discussions. The girls both know we do not stop them and they also know that they have to really think things through to make their case – after all, doing that shows they are serious, have considered the angles, thought about how I might see through their points – so they do their homework sometimes. Like today.

D wants her cheeks pierced. (NSFW modblog image of similar). She has her navel pierced twice, her tongue and her ears. Caring for them is not an issue. She asked me …. I said I would rather she did not, that there were people who formed opinions on others just because of how they looked, that she had future prospects to impress, that Brian (the piercer I know) will not pierce cheeks any more and I know of no other piercer I trust, that the cheek is not as basic a structure as you might think – there is a juicy vein right in there along with the Trigeminal nerve -, that I don’t think it would look good on her, that piercing anything facial is quite a big step, that piercings like this must be absolutely symmetrical or they will look terrible, that if she has to take them out they will scar and I probably added a few other bits in too. Now…. D knew all this of course. She countered back….

The opinions of others mattered not because it was their problem (I agree). Looking good – she thinks she will. Symmetry – she will make sure it’s right. Scarring – she is not bothered (I believe her). Brian – I think she thinks I can talk him round. I know she is wrong there. So we were discussing…. and this was over the phone as she spent last night (and tonight as it turns out) at a friend’s house (J thinks she could even come home with it done but I don’t think she’d do that) and I wouldn’t say I had won because she had not dropped the idea – but I also said we couldn’t decide this either way over the phone, that we’d need to have a chat while in the same room. But overall I thought I had the stronger side, the better argument, the ‘Voice Of Age and Wisdom’ as all parents do. I was even saying “I’m going to sound like a parent now but you really do need to think of your future…”. Then she gets to the point which shows she really had thought more about it:

I’m 16 and at college for 2 years. I have no employer to impress. If I do not like them I have 2 years to find that out and the scars would be small. If I do like them I have 2 years to work harder to impress and I could always remove them if I needed.

I can’t argue with that. I’m not asking for ideas to do so. I can see the logic of that perfectly.
I have until tomorrow :)

4 thoughts on “A piercing discussion

  1. I used to have quite a few piercings, although never my cheeks. Now just 3 in each ear. You mentioned the trigeminal nerve. I suffer from trigeminal neuralgia, and it hurts like fury. Apparently it’s one of the worst pains you can experience. I wouldn’t risk it if it was me, knowing what it feels like.

  2. She’s got a good argument going there! What’s your next move? :P

    I half-regret my lip piercings as the scars are obvious and they’ve still not fully closed after 2 years.

    Still, the worst facial piercing (in my not-so humble opinion) is the Madonna (or whatever they call it these days.) It looks like a zit when it’s got metal in it, it looks like a festering zit when it doesn’t have metal in it. Sexy.

  3. Is she looking to get a part-time job during college? THOSE people might have opinions that matter (insofar as getting a job goes at least).

    And I’d also suggest that the view that whilst “The opinions of others mattered not because it was their problem” is true, it is a little naive, no? Opinions don’t matter on a personal level but life is much more than that, and the opinions formed (even if not expressed) by others DO hold value in certain areas. But then, as she says, she’s going to college to maybe now is the time to try these things and learn lessons from them?

    Hats off to her though, sounds like she has a great attitude for life!

  4. Hmm. No matter how hard you work there will be a time when appearances matter enough for someone to make a judgement against you. Yes that is their ‘problem’ and it’s unfair and it’s wrong. But it will be a judgement and it will affect your life in some way. If D has the maturity to accept this will happen and can deal with the consequences then I doubt there’s much you can do to persuade her not to do it.

    My personal opinion is that they aren’t pretty. I also think at 16 she’s too young and still has growing to do, both physically and mentally. Can’t you reach a compromise and ask her to wait 6 months so she can contemplate her decision?

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