I try really hard never to say No to the girls because I don’t see my role as a controller (Jacq is the same) and sometimes this throws up some interesting discussions. The girls both know we do not stop them and they also know that they have to really think things through to make their case – after all, doing that shows they are serious, have considered the angles, thought about how I might see through their points – so they do their homework sometimes. Like today.
D wants her cheeks pierced. (NSFW modblog image of similar). She has her navel pierced twice, her tongue and her ears. Caring for them is not an issue. She asked me …. I said I would rather she did not, that there were people who formed opinions on others just because of how they looked, that she had future prospects to impress, that Brian (the piercer I know) will not pierce cheeks any more and I know of no other piercer I trust, that the cheek is not as basic a structure as you might think – there is a juicy vein right in there along with the Trigeminal nerve -, that I don’t think it would look good on her, that piercing anything facial is quite a big step, that piercings like this must be absolutely symmetrical or they will look terrible, that if she has to take them out they will scar and I probably added a few other bits in too. Now…. D knew all this of course. She countered back….
The opinions of others mattered not because it was their problem (I agree). Looking good – she thinks she will. Symmetry – she will make sure it’s right. Scarring – she is not bothered (I believe her). Brian – I think she thinks I can talk him round. I know she is wrong there. So we were discussing…. and this was over the phone as she spent last night (and tonight as it turns out) at a friend’s house (J thinks she could even come home with it done but I don’t think she’d do that) and I wouldn’t say I had won because she had not dropped the idea – but I also said we couldn’t decide this either way over the phone, that we’d need to have a chat while in the same room. But overall I thought I had the stronger side, the better argument, the ‘Voice Of Age and Wisdom’ as all parents do. I was even saying “I’m going to sound like a parent now but you really do need to think of your future…”. Then she gets to the point which shows she really had thought more about it:
I’m 16 and at college for 2 years. I have no employer to impress. If I do not like them I have 2 years to find that out and the scars would be small. If I do like them I have 2 years to work harder to impress and I could always remove them if I needed.
I can’t argue with that. I’m not asking for ideas to do so. I can see the logic of that perfectly.
I have until tomorrow :)