Unfinished business

J’s alcoholic druggy brother rang two nights ago and was extremely nasty about the fact that J has not got in touch with her Dad who is dying. But he’s not. And if her brother – who lives with a mile of us turns up he’ll get.. well, he’d better not. Whatever. Fact is that J has seen her father once since she was 13 and on that occasion he very clearly closed the door again on their relationship. That was around 1988. So when her father dies there is no unfinished business there, no relationship there – it’s just another old man dying.
We got to talking around it and she asked me if a situation happened where my m*ther was dying and asked me to go to her, would I. That’s an absolutely not. No. What is to be gained? What’s the point? I have no business with her and certainly no unfinished business. So why restart that which was excised previously?
Why this thing about settling things before someone dies? It’s not like they’ll be around to nag you about it. And for those that think you should settle (“It was so good of him to put him to put his father’s worry to rest”) there are others who will think you are doing it only to get something (“Bastard only wants a slice from the will. I’ll see him in court about that one”). You cannot win. You’ll be despised whichever way you turn by some.
It’s odd though that me and J, in a long stable marriage that means our kids are in the minority at school because we are still together, both have this closed off parental thing. Her’s through circumstance, mine out of my choice.

One thought on “Unfinished business

  1. I guess the only reason to go back is if the “Unfinished Business” is your’s. Guilt is a hard thing to cope with. If you felt that you had done something that created the rift or that if you had gone back then the rift could have been mended then I’d definitely recommend closing off the “Unfinished Business” for your own sake. With both yourself and J it doesn’t appear that this is the case and your b-in-law should just fuck off and mind his own.

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