Catching up

While I was out rescuing a mate’s PC from trojan hell, J was catching up with a friend – her best friend – from school. There were 6 females in the house (2 grownups, 4 notso) so Max’s computer woes were in some way a welcome escape. Best friends…. from school.
I cannot think of anyone who I want to meet from school – bar one person who emailed me as she had seen my Friends Reunited entry and figured out my email address. Anyway, people from school. Nope. I don’t know why exactly but I think a lot of it was a lack of depth back then coupled with a significant amount of time. Even my best man at our wedding – if I met Andy again it would be a combination of “Remember when..” and “How’s things now” with a stilted silence about the inbetween bits. Maybe it’s a bloke thing. For me it would be like meeting a stranger – that sound odd? I don’t think it’s because of me exactly though my attitude to ‘relationships’ can be seen by some as being harsh (even J says that about the way I can excommunicate people from my life. The Catholic Church could learn something about that technique from me…). I know J’s friend and husband. Even this many years on (and we are talking at least 20 years) I recognise them. Except they saw me repeatedly at the gym and I didn’t see them even once. Maybe I was switched off there..
I tell you what is odd and what most people who read this will never experience – leaving work completely and seeing all those relationships disappear completely. It takes two to have a relationship but when one party decides that as you are not part of their solution then you are no longer worthy of their time. That’s not so hot. Maybe this friend thing is more of a woman/girl thing. Chatter Chatter Chatter ‘Really? “No” “Did he… and she said?” “What do you do?!” (repeat frequently). That was not said from a sexist standpoint, but as an impartial witness to events today. You know in the films you see the two people walking toward each other, all hesistant and then after the soft focus they are backslapping in some bar while arguing over a football match……I know that films portray falseness as much as drama / truth / whatever but they give clues too. Clues to what to do, not to do, how it should be done. Can that be done with something as deep but as – for me at least – fragile as a friendship? Odd. J wants to meet a couple of others now – ones that her friend still kept in contact with. If I got a phone call right now saying that my best man was calling in, or that a girlfriend of mine for 4 years at school (she was called Kathryn. Had an identical twin sister Helen. Kathryn went to Leeds Uni, I came to Leicester…..she married a lad who she didn’t fancy at school too. She became a teacher. I ought to write her full name here in some vain attempt to grab her attention should she ever google her name but I won’t. I want to though. Helen was hurt actually by a mad psych called Max Sefton. He stabbed her. Literally.) so, back to the moment… if she was calling in my first thoughts wouldn’t be as much “great!” as “why?”. Maybe it is just me. What’s done is done, what’s gone is gone. It was great hearing them chatter away though :)

8 thoughts on “Catching up

  1. Hm, interesting post… with the exception of one girl from primary school, I can say with all honesty that I’ve not exchanged words with one single person I have ever been to school with, since the day of my A-Level results. I waved goodbye to the school and to that era of my life in just a few revs of my crappy car engine. I think I knew all along that I thought every single person I was at school with was a cock. Maybe it stems from being bullied and losing faith, maybe it’s cos of the bitchy evil which infiltrated my all-girls school, but when I drove away from school I left every single year of my education behind me and started a completely new life at university. I am still in touch with all the people from uni I want to be in touch with and have developed, I think, some of the most meaningful friendships of my life as a result. I have time and room for the people I really care about. I’m quite happy with that :) And yes, when I get together with my female friends from uni, we are all stereotypical girlies, ‘chatter chatter chatter’, ‘he said what??’ ‘oh you didn’t!’ etc etc ;) And it’s BRILLIANT. :)

  2. Update – with the exception of a bloke I bumped into outside the kebab van in my home town, drunkenly exchanged mobile numbers with, and went on the most disastrous date of my life with. Apart from *that*. Oh and that’s odd, this weird double-vision picture of a girl just popped up on my screen while I was typing this – is that my computer being twisted or your comments screen??

  3. I have this theory that nigh on all those lost friendships are in the past for a reason. Dragging them out into the light never seems to work. And hey, those “lost” people aren’t usually knocking my door down either so….

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