A couple of weeks ago I blogged about my memories of certain things happening to me. In that post, I pondered a situation D (my eldest daughter) found herself in and her (what I thought was ex-) boyfriend. Unfortunately, what I blogged was news to the boyfriend. Ah …. hmm… now the fallout from that wasn’t particularly bad at all, but I had a “someone read this!” moment. ‘Someone’ being a real person who I meet (met) but it was also the knowledge that D also read this (/me waves at D :) ). That’s no bad thing – I have few secrets – but it does mean that if she reads it, and the ex reads it and who knows which of her friends then what can I write? And the effect of that is my wanting to write things here remains but my ability to do so without consequence is impeded. There are ‘Dad’ things I’d like to write, situations which I’d like to write about because I’d like comments, situations where I want to write about the teenage things which are happening and which D can read that it’s okay to do / feel / think, and just stuff that has involved her. I don’t want to just blog that she has done this wonderful and that great and isn’t she fantastic – she is – but that’s not the point. The point is that life can be blogged – but right now only by her (on MySpace probably). And that’s not wrong in the slightest though it’s a bit unfair – me go to MySpace? I think not :) (Unless D says different of course)
It’s not that same as in me writing about J. With J there is no group of friends judging her, there is no-one to impress, to pretend, no face to save, no teenage issues. Even with J you don’t know what the situation is – I doubt you could even piece things together – but the censorship I practice there is for very different reasons (I reckon you could probably track relapses by my vociferative posts to afair degree) and the ‘personal’ attributes that are affected in each case are different.
It’s censorship – but for all the right reasons. (as they say in Beijing ……)