J keeps apologising and saying she feels guilty that we are doing stuff and she can’t. The horribleness of MS aside, it’s actually just swings and roundabouts. There have been days in years past when I’ve not done my bit and she took up the slack. There are tasks which she still does (like all the money) and jobs she can do which I cannot (like being a mum) so she doesn’t have anything to apologise for – but she’ll keep doing it. I doubt there is any long-term relationship where things are even on a short-term basis. Maybe even long-term – and J and me have been together since 1983 and this September it’s our Emerald wedding anniversary (20 years) (and holy hell that makes me feel old!) – it doesn’t balance out but who counts? It’s not that “Thank You” becomes redundant but just right now she doesn’t need to say it. But then what would she say ? Phrases like “You call that tidying up?” or “Don’t mix the whites and the coloureds” could be used but I’m well trained by now :) I’d say it’s strange how things are but then that’s true. But that isn’t unique to us – apart from TV and the adverts for family holidays I have no real idea about the dynamic of other relationships. I can guess – like you can – and the big stuff will all be the same but those little idiosyncrasies are what make or break relationships, never the big stuff. Very hard things to describe are relationships.