Village Porn

I had my eyes tested for the first time in 10 years today. I’m just about as blind as I was then.
On the way back from the city I’d missed the bus which drops me closest so rather than wait an hour I caught one that dropped me at the other end of the village. Wandering back I popped in the newly taken-over village shop. Bloke called Gerry ran it for years. It didn’t change much and he catered for the blue-rinse brigade of old dears very well. This village is described as “One of Leicestershire’s premium villages” and the tone of the short strip of shops (shop / hair salon / chemist / butcher (deli) / estate agent) is one of refinement (or so the council would have us believe). Houses are expensive here too. Very expensive. Anyway, I wander in to the shop. Gerry sold up and retired so what was an understated store now has a glaring red / white front with logos all over, big swinging doors, lots of neon. It’s foul. But they sell a mean Mars Bar. On the right as you go in is the tills, on the left wall the magazines. Strolled over to see the front cover of Private Eye (very amusing) and glanced up to see what computer / games mags were in. How many shops put Playstation magazines on the top shelf but FHM on the middle ? Weird. So it’s right then I see it. Our Premium Village now stocks PORN ! On the Main Street we can purchase materials that would make the blue rinse brigade faint I’m sure. Being a sturdy red-blooded chap I glanced to the tills, saw I wasn’t being watched then scoped the titles: Escort, Fiesta, Knave. Hardly criminal stuff (so I’m told) but as I was ambling home (sans magazines) I wondered just who would buy their porn from a local shop ? It’s not like word wouldn’t get round is it ? “Oh Edna, you’re in there my dear. He buys Glamourous Grannies every week” I can see why newsagents in town would sell them but a small village store ? It’s not as if she didn’t choose either – those days have gone thanks to the battles of WHSmith (I think) so the new owner (a bloke) has chosen to stock porn in a shop where all his staff are female. And in a village where .. well … sex was in a bygone age.

You’re a bloke. You want to buy a porn mag. Are you more likely to buy that if there is a woman or a man serving you ?

Strange choice to stock porn. I’ll ask one of the ladies in there (who we’ve known for many years) what the score is on that one. And why the gamers mags are above FHM.

[Note: The first sentence has nothing to do with the rest of the content okay ? Coincidental :) ]

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