Pass the mascara darling

Men are starting to wear makeup. Not actors, not clowns but real proper men. Good bloody grief. Loved this line “Men are very happy to have something on that enhances their appearance, as long as it isn’t obviously perceptible.” – and I’m sure women say the same thing – even those women we all see every day who didn’t merely apply their makeup as much as buried their faces in the slap box. “Don’t smile dear, your face will fall off” or “What happened to your neck ?”
I moisturise. That’s it. I have dry skin which is why. It has made no difference to the lines around my eyes (a flock of crow’s feet apparently) (or should that be a Jenkins murder of crows ?) but mascara ? foundation ? PLUCKING ? Hell no – blokes don’t do that ! Even Grecian 2000 is a step too far (it’s habit forming).
Many men start borrowing products from their girlfriends or wives, and then go on from there.” We do ? I don’t – more than my life’s worth to ask my daughters if I can borrow anything of theirs – or to even own some. This ‘blokeslap’ nonsense must be the latest yuppiedom garbage. The constant search for the eternal youth crap. Getting older is the way it is. I’ll accept that there is no need to go out of one’s way to look bad, but looking good does not have to involve a bathroom routine of any more than 5 minutes. Bloke ? Bathroom ? 5 minutes. Tops. (Maybe 8 for a shave).
This is scary: …the average man now spends 24 minutes a day on personal grooming. I’m clean enough and I spend a lot less than that. Let’s say I spend half that time 12 minutes – that means somewhere someone spends 36 minutes doesn’t it ?
Male ? Wear makeup ? You big girls blouse :p

7 thoughts on “Pass the mascara darling

  1. Yep, hair conditioner on the legs makes shaving a doddle. Incidentally, I very nearly bought some of the Jean Paul Gaultier make up mentioned in that article… it was much nicer than anything I’d ever seen for women. I opened the box when I got home and realised the language barrier meant I’d actually bought lots of JPG soap!

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