So what do you say ?

When I used to go round to my first ‘proper’ girlfriend’s house, although her mum would say Hi and pass the time of day – albeit briefly – to me, with her Dad it was a “Hello” and “Goodbye”. Nothing else. I went out with her for a few years too – it never changed. Consequently I find myself without a role model. D’s boyfriend comes round at least once a week, if not twice. I too say “Hi” and “Cheers” (I’m trying to be less formal…) but I’m stuck for what else. I have a feeling that the words I need fall somewhere between “Are your intentions honourable ?” and “Break her heart and I break your legs”. I’ll work on it ….

6 thoughts on “So what do you say ?

  1. It’s long been a dream of mine to be sitting on the couch, quietly cleaning a shotgun when my daughter brings home a suitor. I’ll stand up, shake his hand firmly, and say “Let me tell you about the only time I ever killed a man…” ;)

    Ask the bloke about himself. Try to make him feel comfortable around you, so that he and your daughter don’t feel obligated to sneak about. You’ll never be his best friend, but he needn’t feel completely distanced from you, either.

  2. I’ve been with my girlfriend about 8 and a half months now (I’ve just turned 18 and she’s about to turn 17). I can barely say a word to her Dad. There’s always the hi and bye but it’s awkward and it leaves me wanting to just avoid him as much as possible.

    It only ever gets past hi and bye when he’s bringing up the time 7 months ago when I tried to use the telescope but couldn’t, saying that I got into their house on false pretences. He’ll also sometimes ask what Courtney is doing with me because she’s so great and I’m not. He says it in a joking manner but it’s all he ever says and there’s not a lot I can say back when he’s telling me I got into their house by lying.

    I just feel like he doesn’t know a thing about me. I don’t like feeling like this because I’ve been with Courtney a pretty long time and I want to be able to get along with her Dad and be able to talk to him. I’m constantly wondering what he really thinks of me and I feel stupid because I can’t have a conversation with him.

    It bothers me more that she has a really good relationship with my parents and can talk freely about anything. That’s how I want it to be with hers.

  3. As both Mum and Dad to my kids and with four of them I think I’m reasonably experienced with the boy / girlfriend thing.

    I am always very friendly and try to show them what I am doing and am interested in (in case I can’t fathom their interests, music etc).

    If they are hanging out at our place I offer food and drink. seems to work on most people!

  4. My first ever gf Dad said to me, and I quote exactly “You are parking in my daughter so you better not be parking in my driveway”.

    I don’t think you could possibly do worse. Try to find something you have in common with him music, computers, games, then just chat about that.

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