Cut the face-sucking

The Bad Sex in Fiction Awards

The award’s purpose is “to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it”.

Is there one for films ? Can we get away from the bloody awful ‘love scene’ that seems to happen in every “Hollywood Formula” film ? It’s the bit which is entirely superfluous to the entire damn film and serves what purpose ? What IS it there for ? Story – No. Artistic something-or-other – Not a chance. Chance to flash some flesh to appeal to the men / women / both in the audience ? Probably. Chance for the director to say to the female actors (or is it actresses ? Which is the PC way to address a female performer ?) “just a bit more cleavage love, yea, tug the top down a bit ….” ? More than likely.

Unless they make another film of the Bible:

“There’s a whole range of biblical scriptures simply bursting with eroticism,”

In an effort to help you find this new found source of titillation, I have the link to the Amazon.co.uk page for The Bible. Obviously there are many versions and I am unversed in which is which and to who and why etc etc etc but you have to visit that link. Read the ‘From the author’ – then read the first sentence of the first reviewer. And remember to breathe when reading the second sentence.

7 thoughts on “Cut the face-sucking

  1. Yeah, I’ve been kind of embarrassed by some movie “love” scenes. I read somewhere that sex is a part of life, so we should see it in our movies, which are representations of our lives.

    If that is so, how come there aren’t extended and graphic toilet scenes? After all, using the toilet is a part of life, and we use the toilet more often than we have sex. (Unless somebody would like to share some info that proves otherwise!)

    Let’s just watch some guy grunting and straining… and then witness the paperwork afterward. Pure cinema!

    And why would they sell the Bible with the Torah? The first five books of Moses are the first five books of the Bible, so somebody messed up.

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