More Catholic nonsense

“How gay are you ?”
“Oh I’m definitely gay. Yes. I’m homosexual and I like me this way”
“Oh dear, you can’t be a priest then”

“And how gay are you ?”
“I’m a bit gay. Only a bit.”
“Right then ! You can be a priest.”

“And you … gay ?”
“Hm.. not sure. I’ve not done anthing gay for 2 years though!”
“You must wait 3 years. Another year and we’ll see you back here then ? Lovely”

“And last, how gay are you ?”
“Totally. Homosexual through and through. I have sex with men whenever I can, I love choir boys and ‘assisting’ them in any way I can”
“Definitely you cannot be a priest. At all. We can’t have your sort joining our faith”
“But I am a priest already”
“Ohhh.. in that case come on in. Tea ? …..”

Vatican rules against gay priests. There is nothing wrong with being gay. There is everything wrong with the Catholic Church.

2 thoughts on “More Catholic nonsense

  1. I was going to write about it this morning … but I can’t be bothered.

    You missed the best bit. It doesn’t actually say “If you’re gay” which would be pretty black and white … but uses the wonderful phrase “Gay tendencies”. So if I thought that Sean Connery cut a fine figure of a man in his early Bond years then I couldn’t possibly be a priest? I am now going to tease my younger brother when he’s late for lunch because he’s spent too long primping and preening (*cough* can’t deal with getting older … early mid-life crisis *cough*) by telling him he’d never make a priest. Which will confuse him no end but I’ll sit and chortle thinking “I’ve just accused you of having gay tendencies mate”.

    The interview process would indeed be hysterical:

    “Gay? Fancy men? Worn out yer copy of ‘Top Gun’ lad?”
    “Nah, I’m not gay!”
    “Bit defensive there lad. A bit uncomfortable with your sexuality are you?”
    “Phf! Naw not at all. I moisturise”
    “AHA! Gay Boy!”
    “Non-scented … Nivea for Men only”
    “Dammit”
    “There was that one time at the Rugby club five years ago, but I’ve shifted loadsa women since then”
    “Didn’t marry of them did ya?”
    “Nope”
    “Yer in”

  2. The Catholic Church has had a theological problem with being gay for a long time. They can’t come out and say that to be a homosexual is wrong as they preach that God makes us who we are. Therefore, if you are gay then God made you that way. I always thought they got around this issue by saying that gay sex was immoral. As with heterosexuality any sex outside marriage is a no-no so as gays can’t get married then they’re are fornicating and damned to hell. This meant they had the moral high ground without comprimising themselves and not appearing homophobic or whatever. This edict doesn’t make sense in what it says but the reason why it has been released is equally bizarre.

    I might be stirring the pot a bit but if they ban gay priests then they could be causing an even bigger problem in terms of the numbers joining up. I can think of a lot of priests that would be giving up the collar if they were banned altogether!

    I wonder if they have invented a test yet? :)

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