Contains Celery

At the house we are moving to, in a bedroom that D will occupy there is a wardrobe with a desk / two cupboards thing attached. The sort of thing one might put together for a growing child. D doesn’t like it and given it’s brown-covered chipboard, neither do we. I’d not really taken much notice when we look round and today J asked me if I could remove it. Yep says me, no problem. Hmmmmm……. I can’t.
I’ll try to describe it. Floor to ceiling fitted (that’s about 8ft). No back. About 20-24 inches square. No base. 3 internal shelves. No top. I can see carpet (old carpet) at the bottom and ceiling at the top. I can see no visible means of fixing it to the wall. I see no brackets, no screws, no battens. Nothing. We have permission to remove it so I kick it. It doesn’t budge. I get in, close the door and can see light between the wall and the sides. I can slide thin card along most joins – except the right vertical as it butts the door frame. I even looked at the other side of the wall for coach bolts, and went into the roof space too. I have NO idea how this thing is staying in place. Liquid Nails ? It looks and feels indestructible – I wonder what sort of child it was built for. We checked when we got back. When the landlord bought it, the wardrobe was in place – something we suspected as the carpet in that room has been fitted around this monstrosity. So tomorrow it dies. Me, bro-in-law, a jigsaw, a drill, mallets and hammers are going to find out just what magic has been worked. It’s very very odd right now.

On the back of the Heinz ketchup bottle listed in the ingredients is celery. Nothing too strange about that, except that under that, in a section specially marked ‘Contains’ is the word ‘Celery’. That too I find odd.

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