Honest Writing

If you don’t read Random Acts of Reality then you should, and if you do, you’ll see he got mentioned in The Observer today along with other ‘real life’ sites. One of which was the Mental Nurse blog, and being from that area of training, I clicked. There are several blogs linked from there, and of course they link etc etc and part of me wants to read, part of me says no way and even more of me says “Why can’t I do this ?”
Not as in I want to be famous, but in just writing about the way it is, the way it feels, the way it looks. I’ve been thinking about this blog for a while and if you take all the WP stuff out there’s probably not a whole lot left and if you were to take the personal stuff and put it into it’s own blog there wouldn’t be a whole lot there either. It’s not that what I write here is wrong (or right), but I read some things on those blogs and I identify very closely and want to write what I think but I don’t. I could but I don’t. I have done in the past on a private blog and a very few people read what I wrote (I think) and I found it very useful. I’ve got a Blogger account I can use .. but I don’t want to separate it, don’t know why, it worked in the past. So it might change here slightly, it might not, and it’s not like the clues to ‘being me’ aren’t in here anyway is it ? maybe we read those blogs because of their hard edge, their reality, their honesty ?

Back to screaming at useless RSS readers and awaiting the 1.5.2 upgrade …..

10 thoughts on “Honest Writing

  1. I’d say more like it’s real people relating real issues. There’s too much filtered and manufactured crap in the media as a whole that it’s a breath of fresh air to read these sites. Jayzuz even ‘reality TV’ is scripted nonsense nowadays. I’ve told MBH a couple of hundred times that she should start a blog of her nursing experiences. I think people would read that instead of getting the sanitised ‘DIY and holiday presenter sit on beds talking to sick, but interesting people’ shows.

    It does take some guts though.

  2. talking to sick, but interesting people’ shows.

    Which ones do you watch then ? :razz:

    It probably takes guts if you have a job as someone somewhere will find it. I know this site was scrutinised VERY closely by certain managers in the NHS Trust I used to work for (They were concerned that I might say something out of line about managers like Elaine Moore and her appalling treatment of staff in the Leicestershire & Rutland NHS Trust – but I didn’t) when I left.
    But for me – if I wrote what I thought when I was manic, you’d all think I was mad. Some posts would be impossible to follow. Yet when I was on a down, you’d sit there telling me to stop acting so bloody pathetic etc etc and it would get boring fast. So even though I’ll never meet 99.9% of the people who read this, I’ll never lose a job because of it, I still censor myself.
    I think it’s because I don’t like to see posts at either end of the spectrum. My spectrum. Yay for meds that don’t work.

  3. Can ‘Watch’ be described as shouting at the TV? :)

    MBH tried to get me to watch ‘Desperate Midwives’ recently but there was copious amounts of fluids gushing about and too much screaming for my liking. We particularly enjoyed watching the ‘courageous’ midwife on an episode the other day as she tried to get a new born baby to keep breathing … till MBH pointed out that the nurse had pumped the mother-to-be so full of pethedine that it wasn’t a major shock really that the baby had difficulty breathing and in fact the nurse was doing a brilliant job not at keeping the baby breathing, but covering up the fact that she’d given the mother far too much pethadine :) Not funny in hindsight obviously.

    I think if you’re going to blog about work/personal issues you just have to be sensible. Nobody has been sacked for blogging – they HAVE been sacked for calling their manager an arse over and over again, or saying that the company indulges in child labour … well an exaggeration there but you get the idea.

    Are you more concerned about what people reading it will think? Strange because you’ve never seemed to be too concerned about that in the past …

    I have wrote about some things when they have just happened in my professional life, but hopefully I’ve kept them vague enough that it can’t be tracked down. Saying that though it’s nothing I wouldn’t have said to their face in the meeting room – although that would be entirely throwing diplomacy out of the window :) And even if I don’t agree/believe/trust in some things my life could be made a little more difficult. I don’t exactly hide behind a moniker either :)

  4. Are you more concerned about what people reading it will think? Strange because you’ve never seemed to be too concerned about that in the past …

    No.. when I’m ‘up’, my world is a lovely place. I think, act and probably look different. I talk differently. I am significantly different to when I am ‘down’ – such is the nature of the bipolar illness. And neither the ‘up’ person or the ‘down’ person can accept that the other exists. So to see that difference in print is difficult – it’s difficult to accept that it was me who wrote it.

    I’ll say lots about the world and others, and I would say the same to people face to face, but when it comes to me … I’ve had the “he’s mad” shit thrown at me before simply because I happened to write on this site that I was bipolar, so to let the walls down and write … I might not like it as well as others.

  5. I think what you’re saying is perfectly understandable (and reasonable) Mark. Aside from the mental health issue, I think all of us like to keep at least some aspects of ourselves ‘secret’ (wrong word probably but you know what I mean). This applies to our normal day to day relationships with people, let alone on the internet where total strangers can read about you and your thoughts.

    I’ve often wanted to do this myself but never could. Part of that is no doubt because I’m naturally a person who bottles things up, so it would really go against the ‘norm’ for me.

    But I can also appreciate what you said about when you’re feeling down. I go through phases of depression, and when I’m really low there’s absolutely no way I’d want to write what I’m feeling in a public place! People would go off me instantly I fear. :D I don’t particularly want to be labelled as ‘that depressing woman’ either. Depression is a part of my life yes, but doesn’t wholly define who I am.

    Nah, if I wanted a bear knuckle notes ride through my life I’d put it in a private diary.

  6. After starting a blog attached to my business and therefore public self, I made the decision to also keep an anonymous blog. Any one who really wanted to could click a few links and work out who both of me are.

    I quite enjoy keeping two blogs. Although keeping them both up to date is a minor nightmare!

  7. After starting a blog attached to my business, and therefore, my public self, I made the decision to also keep an anonymous blog. Any one who really wanted to could click a few links and work out who both of me are.

    I quite enjoy keeping two blogs. Although keeping them both up to date is a minor nightmare!

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