Heinz own the brand “San Marco” and they use that to sell pizza. Nothing great about them, just your average frozen slab in a box. I’ve probably eaten one before, so in the shop earlier, I noticed the “2 for the price of 1” labels above all these “San Marco” boxes. I looked as I went to grab a couple, then noticed something really strange – the type of pizza. It was a Margheurita which was cheese flavour and tomato. Cheese Flavour?|?. What on earth is THIS about ? A really basic pizza – even a pathetic attempt at one is dough, cheese and tomato. And they won’t even give us the cheese ? And worse than that, what IS the substance being flavoured ? And how many chemicals does it take to flavour – and colour – it ? Surely just grating a block of cheese is cheaper and quicker than cobbling together heaven knows what, making sure the consistency is right, making sure that it doesn’t turn into something strange when cooked at 200° for 18-20mins, making sure it conforms to all known chemical standards and does not interact with any of the undoubted chemicals in the dough / the tomatos / the wrapping, and being sure that it does in fact have some calorific value.
And why can’t we have cheese ? Is it now so scarce they can’t find any ? Are Heinz unable to afford to buy cheese ? Does their Board of Execs not like cheese ? Maybe it’s an EU Directive ? How can we – the mere consumers – know ? And exactly what flavour cheese is it ? There’s more than one sort, oh yes.
I want cheese on my pizza ! So I may only be taking it out the freezer at home and not sitting in some authentic pizzeria soaking up the Italian ambience, but I want CHEESE on it. Hey, I won’t even be too picky by insisting on the top grade Mozarella – just grate enough real came_from_milk_from a_cow_cheese on top of the damn thing.
And whose bright idea at Heinz was it to remove the real dairy experience from the pizza ? And which bunch of idiots all nodded ? Fools.
What’s the betting that when Heinz made this change, the picture on the box was enhanced while the lettering became smaller and ‘blended in’ with the background. Within the law maybe, but deceitful. Or maybe Heinz think they are beyond reproach ? And I wonder if I have enough links to Heinz in this entry yet ?
If it’s not got Cheese on, it CANNOT be a Pizza. (That is surely a law somewhere!)
(I did find this though – www.cheeseontour.com with the extremely funny link at the bottom to the “Ring of Cheese” :) )